Close to you

Master & i are apart again family & work commitments taking us to several different countries for long periods. Being away from Master for so long again tests me. I miss him not just his physical contact but the structure and control that he brings to my life. I crave that structure as it gives me security, I flounder a little when I have no physical contact with him for so long. I kind of feel like I’m treading water that I’m floating just offshore, my moorings are loose.
We have chats and communication which does reinforce the structure i need but his physical presence soothes me. Just to sit and have a tea with Master can bring me such calm and renews my strength. I try very hard to be good & live by my rules when we are not together, but sometimes I slip. I tell Master if this happens & his disappointment crushes me & makes me endeavour to not let it occur again.
Sometimes I like to push my boundaries I think that’s because I like to know they are there but that’s not really very good of me is it. My parents say I did the same when I was small…Master knows I do this and keeps me in check. I think the more our relationship progresses the Less I do it, Master?
After all this time apart my need to please Master in all ways & feel his hand on my head as I kneel at his feet is almost overwhelming and also I want to kneel at Masters feet and beg him to take me as is his right. To use me roughly, to pin me down and f… me, force his way into me tearing me open my cries of pain cut off when he gags me. Restrain me Master, tie my hands drive me wild and Release Me! I’m waiting Master I need you….it’s been so long.